January 5, 2024

Part 2 - Negotiating Mistakes I've Made

Last month, I shared with you some negotiating mistakes I've made more than once. Here are a few more examples that may help you negotiate more effectively.

1. Don't emphasize your own problems or the possible losses to yourself if deadlock occurs. In all likelihood, there are constraints on the other party's action as severe as your own. Concentrate on their problems and issues. These are your opportunities to find routes to agreement.

2. Most negotiations will require some concession making. Don't set your initial demand near your final objective. There is sufficient evidence to conclude that it pays to start high. Don't be shy about asking for everything you might want and more. Many times your demands may be too modest, or too easy to achieve. The other party may not know what they want or may have a set of values quite different from your own.

3. It is a common negotiating mistake to assume you know what the other party wants. It is far more prudent to assume you do not know, and then proceed to discover the realities of the situation by patient testing. If you proceed to negotiate a deal on the basis of your own untested estimates, you are making a serious mistake.

4. Never accept the first offer — many people do. There are two good reasons not to: First, the other party probably is willing to make some additional concessions. Second, if you do accept the first offer, there is a chance the other party will have the feeling that their offer was foolish. They may find ways to spoil the agreement later. In either case, the negotiator who takes the first offer too fast makes a mistake.

5. Never give a concession without obtaining one in return. Don't give concessions away free or without serious discussion. A concession granted too easily does not contribute to the other party's satisfaction nearly as much as one that they struggle to obtain.