General Negotiation September 7, 2012

Being Heard and Listened To

Many people, in every level of an organization, feel they are not being heard. Often, when I talk to people about their work, I hear those words: “They never listen to me,” or, “It’s like I’m not there.” People are desperate to be heard. Not being heard or listened to can contribute to the frustration and conflict so pervasive at work, and, for that matter, at home.

The path to improved collaboration and creativity in any organization lies in allowing people to speak their minds openly and listening to what they say. Only then can the best ideas be discovered, sorted out and negotiated for mutual benefit. Yet, as desirable as being heard and listened to is, it is not something we are born or entitled to, but something that rests with ourselves and how we negotiate for it.

To be heard and listened to is a privilege that must be earned. People at work are usually too busy to listen to everyone who wishes to speak to them at length. Being heard and listened to, in my view, has to be negotiated through daily interactions with others.

In the economics of being heard and listened to, there is an exchange process at work. You have to give quite a lot of yourself to gain what you want.

You have to know what you are talking about.

To negotiate for limited attention, your listeners have to believe you know what you speak of. They also have to see you as trustworthy and credible.