January 5, 2024

Negotiating Mistakes I've Made – Part One

I keep a file of dumb negotiating mistakes I've made. These are real mistakes. I've made them myself more than once. In most cases, nobody—including my boss—seemed to know the difference, except me. Perhaps the examples that follow will help you negotiate more effectively.

Here are some negotiating mistakes I've made in the area of understanding my strengths. These mistakes are serious because they recur despite my intentions to do otherwise. They tend to rob me of the bargaining leverage necessary for effective negotiations.

1. Do not underestimate your power. Most people tend to have more power than they think. Only by making a systematic analysis of power can you understand your strengths. Your base of power rests on a foundation of more than just competition or financial matters. Commitment, knowledge, risk taking, hard work, and negotiating skills are also real sources of power.

2. Do not assume that the other party knows your weaknesses. Assume that they do not and test that assumption. You may be better off than you think.

3. Don't be intimidated by status. We are so accustomed to showing deference to titles and positions that we carry our attitudes to the negotiating table. It is well to remember that some experts are superficial; that some people with PhD's quit learning years ago; some people in authority are incompetent; a specialist may be excellent in their field but without skill in other areas; learned people, despite high positions of power, sometimes lack the courage to pursue their convictions or have none. There is as much danger from having a "little-shot" complex as a "big-shot" complex.

4. Don't be intimidated by statistics, precedents, principles, or regulations. Some decisions are made on the basis or premises and principles long dead or irrelevant. Be skeptical. Challenge them.

5. Do not forget that the other party is negotiating with you because they believe there is something to gain by being there. You may discover that this negotiation, no matter how small it is, is part of a larger framework in the other party's objectives. This alone may provide you greater bargaining power than is apparent from the situation. Be positive in your approach. Assume that the other party wants agreement as much as you do. If they don't, learn why.

More negotiating mistakes in next month's tip – I've made a lot over the years. Hopefully we can learn something from them.